Stress & Strain

It didn't get any better. You would think after I realised that I had overeaten on my first day that I would make an extra special effort to get back on track and bust a gut (no pun intended). But unfortunately I can now qualify for the least successful diet ever. In my first week I lost 0 lbs.

I had a quick chat with a friend of mine who tried to point me in the right directions and to figure out what I'm doing wrong but I still can't shake the thought that half my problem is that I cannot visualise myself as thin (or less-fat - I hate the term thin).

This week, however, I've started as I mean to go on. For the one and a bit days that I've done of this weeks diet (my diet week runs Tuesday to Monday) have been spot on and I can maybe see a chink of light through the clouds ahead. I just need to keep this up for a week and I'll see where it takes me. I'm also playing football tonight as well so I imagine I'm going to be in considerable pain tonight! Nothing that a scalding hot bath won't cure!

I'm going to try and update this blog a bit more frequently from now on :) now that I don't have about 40 hrs of recorded television to watch!

So it begins....

It's amazing how some people can hide behind what they are in an effort to stop people finding out who they are. Take me, for example. I am overweight and have been overweight for much of my life. I am also the first person to make a joke about it. "What do you expect from a fat guy?", "Well what did you expect, I'm fat!" I'm sure you know the sort of thing I mean.

But why do I do it?

Am I just trying to be funny? I suppose that's a possibility. I do try and be amusing and I've been told that I have a good sense of humour and that I can be a moderately funny bloke. But I know that it's something deeper.

The world, in reality, is a shallow place. It's not often that people look beyond the outward appearance. That is why r acism and s exism are such big problems in the world. People will not look beyond the colour of peoples skin or peoples gender, and in this case people very rarely look beyond peoples waistline.

But what would happen if my "fat" facade was stripped away? Without my "Oh well, what did you expect from a fat bloke" excuse, would I be as comfortable just being me? I'm not sure, you know; and maybe that's why I have struggled so much with losing weight. Maybe I like being fat, because I'm not sure if people will like me being me.

And so to the title of the piece. Today I start my 431st diet. And this time I intend to finish it. I've set myself targets and timescales and I have a very good friend of my overseeing the whole process and she will not let me slip. I will do it and that in itself is a bit of a scary thought.

All Work & No Play Makes Me A Dull Boy

There's something liberating about doing strenuous physical work. I'm sure there's people who would disagree (I'm thinking people who do it for a living), but to put your body through it's paces is a great feeling.

My problem is that my body only has one pace. Dead stop. So when I do try to do anything physical it grumbles and groans like an arthritic old man.. "I fought in the war, you know!"

So I was busy at the weekend scraping old masonry paint from old bricks and discovering a whole eco-system living behind the old paint. I'm sure there's a cure for some tropical diseases behind there! But my body is complaining now. My back, arms and legs are aching and I think I've rubbed the skin off one of my knuckles because it's stinging like a bitch!

But it felt good to get out there and pretend for at least a day that I'm not some lily-livered office worker who hasn't done a days hard work in my life. Or that is what my Dad would have you believe!

Weather

Oh I love the weather.

Whether it's glorious sunshine or teeming rain or thunder and lightening, it's all fabulous.

What isn't fabulous is having to sit in a hot and sweaty office at lunchtime with the sun glaring in through the windows!

Weather should not be allowed when I'm in work. It should be completely neutral weather until I get out, and then it should get very sunny! Then I'll be a happy bunny.